Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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