but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
