Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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