I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
