just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
