And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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