my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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