My first STD was from a foam party
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
