ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
