My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
vagina is talking i cant
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
