do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
