woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
