hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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