Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
