We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
