You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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