You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You had me at "let me see your balls"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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