having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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