I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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