you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
