Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
