I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
