i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
