Sry I called you an 8
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
