he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
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Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
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White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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