Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
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we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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