I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
