the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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