I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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