Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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