That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think your dad took our porno
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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