i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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