I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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