a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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