It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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