She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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