my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I love you.
Bad choice
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