oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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