..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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