And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
