the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
