Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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