The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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