I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
