so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I stole a fireplace last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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