He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
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I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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