When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
