awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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