The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
