the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
