I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
