I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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