Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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