she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
