Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I will pee on everything he values.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
