Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
