i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
