Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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