VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
