Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I FOUND THE LEGS
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
