My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
