just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
