wanna go halves on a baby?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
