Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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