i permit you to call me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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