I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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